My mom always told me, it isn't what you say it's how you say it.
I found myself lecturing my daughter last evening because she didn't get it...puberty...enough said...lucky me.
We were discussing the fact that she did nothing all day yesterday to help prepare for our trip, and that when asked to do a simple job, she got pouty, defensive and mouthy...hence me telling her the same thing my mother told me.
It's not what you say dear, it's HOW you say it.
(of course I'm going through the same thing with Ellie. She decided she's going to be a talker...yup - I said, Ellie, get down from the table and she did this little growl, grunt groan, puppy bark so cute I couldn't help but laugh thing, I said, Ellie, don't bite, she did the same thing, I said Ellie, I'm not a chew toy and she said YES you are and I couldn't help but laugh again...She's so cute and already getting big, she is now 12 whole pounds of pure puppy fun.
So, all this talk about how we say the things and the emphasis we put on our words, it can be difficult when you read something to know the tone...just like email - perhaps from now on I'll have to write in my emotional state and facial expressions when I send an email so no one takes them out of context. Wouldn't that be funny! I think my hubby would say I've taken the whole writing thing a bit far - and yet, in some deep recess of my brain, I think it would be fun.
Which brings me to my next conversation exercise.
Here is the bare bones conversation.
'She does love you.'
'Really. And what about John.'
'What about John.'
'Never mind. It doesn't matter anyway.'
'Try telling that to John.'
'What doesn't matter and why the hell are you talking about John?'
'I'm just looking for some answers.'
'Looking to be nosey more like.'
'No you don't.'
'Why can't you understand I did what I did because of you.'
'Don't blame me for your mistakes. I'm not going to be anyone's scapegoat.'
'Now you listen to me. If Beth says she loves you, then she does. Beth isn't a liar and she doesn't do anything for no good reason.'
'So what about John then?'
'You know nothing about John. You never have and until you take those beans out of your ears you never will.'
'No Pete, don't say anymore. It's for me to explain. For me to deal with.'
'What was that for?'
'Because I need to do this alone.'
So what did you think when you read this? Do you see anything in your head? Do you know who is speaking, what they are feeling by the words they say?
'NO WAY! ' She shouted enthusiastically, spilling her coffee on the table as she tried to jot down all of her great ideas. 'Of course you don't get a feel for the conversation. There are no feelings, no senses, no descriptions. We don't know who the people are, except for Pete.' she paused gathering her thoughts. 'Oh wait, that was Ellie spilling my coffee because I'm outside in my favourite spot but the little table .... never mind!' Exaspterated, she knew she could never explain just how much the puppy liked coffee and she was certain always spilled it on purpose.
Anyway, back to my point. There is no feeling in the words, the reader has nothing to go on. This could be a happy conversation between a couple of drunks, or a yelling match between two people in love with the same person.
So what did you see when you first read it?(I'll post the revised conversation later.)
